I’m no John Baptist but it’s heartwarming to have a bit of his bravery now and then. He was a weird fellow, very confident in what God thinks of him that he didn’t mind what the world thinks.
I remembered I use to be that person, weirdly confident in my weirdness that no amount of people’s words get to me. Yet somehow, change is the only constant in my world. I have been to a point where people’s approval was one of my highs. Being one of those who had to crawl to be where I am now, every little milestones were something to be shared and celebrated. I had to show people where I am so they’ll hopefully remember their words when they said I would never amount to anything because I am my mother’s daughter.
It was so enjoyable to bask in that glow of people’s approval thinking that finally after a long struggle, I have gained what I thought I needed. But of course, I realized my wrong motives and how twisted my mind was. My relationship with Jesus exposed me. That’s when my on/off relationship with social media started, especially Facebook.
From a 24×7 FB girl to 2×3
This week was hard and I know how bad it was when I reset to my default. My psoriasis was cleared last week. I was so busy that I didn’t have time to write but not too busy to check what happen to my FB feeds. I have written how I thought my psoriasis affected my brain, it was so back this week. Everything just feels so wrong that I wanted to find company in my misery so I checked my FB feeds.
It was twisted and though my motive was selfish, I’m happy that I did. Knowing some good and not so good update of friends puts me back to my confidently weird self.
Psoriasis is Gone
Regardless of how bad I thought I am doing, my cleared Psoriasis was a proof of how awesome the days were. I should not let it came back by entertaining my greatest critic – myself. Other people’s ingratitude shouldn’t change who I am because at the end of the day, I don’t answer to people but to God.
It’s hard not to be appreciated for the things that you do but the silverlining to it is the wake up call to move on. When what you do becomes an expectation rather than appreciation, it is really time to pray for God to give you a new direction.